Shameless (The Therapist #2) Read online

  “Fuck that, I’m not going anywhere,” Ava blurts. “Fuck both of you. He is mine!”

  “Goddamnit, Ava, nobody cares. This isn't even about that. Let’s just go before you get arrested over this stupid shit.”

  I reach out to grab Ava’s hand, but she snatches it away. I try it a second time, and I’m able to grip her wrist and pull her gently towards the door. Reluctantly, and while maintaining her intimidating gaze at the workers, Ava lets me guide her out of the theater.

  We walk quickly through the food court, avoiding the staring, judgmental gaze of everybody who was able to hear Ava’s outburst, and push through the exit. It was only a few minutes, but the whole ordeal felt like it lasted an hour before I was able to pull her away. Once we’re outside, I stop and turn to her.

  “What the hell was that?” I bark, while still trying to keep my voice down. “That kid was a teenager, and she wasn't doing anything wrong. She was just taking my order, Ava.”

  “Maybe you didn't see it, Malcolm, but she wanted you. I saw it in her eyes,” Ava says, and I can tell she really believes it. There was no evidence to support this claim, but in Ava’s mind, the concession worker’s eyes were enough to cause the whole scene, and there isn't a single bone in her body that regrets it.

  “Well, nobody else saw it, Ava. All they saw was you, a grown woman, harassing a teenager. You can't do shit like that. It’s unnecessary and embarrassing.”

  “I wasn't trying to embarrass you, Malcolm. I would never do that,” Ava says. She steps closer to me, and I feel an urge in my stomach to take a step back, but I don't. “I only did it because I felt the need to defend you. I felt threatened, and you know I’ve dealt with bullshit in the past. I just wanted to make sure she knew that you're mine. You're mine, and I’m yours. That’s it. I don't care how crazy I look to people who don't know anything about us. We belong to each other. Right?”

  Ava looks me in the eyes, and I know she needs me to agree with her. Knowing her history the way I do, if I say the wrong thing here, it might have catastrophic effects. With that thought, though, I realize just how volatile this situation is. Ava is the embodiment of kinky perfection in bed and the Black House, but is all of that worth it outside the bedroom?

  I swallow hard as Ava takes another step forward and grabs both of my hands. She holds them there, looking up at me, awaiting my response. I don't know what to say, because I'm conflicted. I know what she wants to hear, but I also know how I feel right now.

  “We need to go,” I say, after too long of a pause. “We need to get out of here before the cops actually show up. I don't want to stand here watching you get hauled off to jail.”

  Ava doesn't look happy, but she nods her head.

  “Yes, sir,” she says, before unveiling a seductive smile.

  I know what she’s trying to do, and it takes everything in me to ignore it and guide us to my truck. As we exit the parking lot, we drive right past a cop car with its lights on, and I watch in my rearview mirror as the car drives up to the doors we just exited.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ~ Malcolm ~

  “Good morning, Keisha.”

  “Good morning, Dr. Colson,” my assistant, Keisha, says as I walk past her. I rub my temples, doing my best to reduce the headache that’s been bombarding me since yesterday. “You okay? You look beat down.”

  “I’m all right,” I lie. “Long day yesterday. I’ll be fine. Who’s first today?”

  “Tessa Milton in half an hour,” Keisha reminds me. “You need some Excedrin? My husband swears by it. He always gets migraines, and it’s the only over-the-counter medicine that works for him.”

  “Yeah, Excedrin is great. I took two before I even left the house. Hopefully it'll kick in before Tessa gets here. Anyway, talk to you soon.”

  “Have a good day, Dr. Colson,” Keisha says with her signature, comforting smile. “Feel better.”

  I step into my office and let the door close behind me. I feel the weight of an entire solar system pressing down on me this morning, and it all stems from the theater incident yesterday.

  Ava and I don't go out on dates often. In fact, it happens so rarely, everything about yesterday felt awkward. Although Ava and I have been dating for a couple of months since I discharged her, we’ve never been able to connect on a friendship level. Everything with us has been sexual. It’s sex all the time, almost daily, but that part of it never gets old, which is why I don't understand why we can’t move into something more serious.

  I shouldn't be surprised by any of this. I knew what I was getting when I signed up for Ava. It isn't a surprise to me that it’s all about sex, and it’s no surprise to me that I enjoy that side of our relationship so much. I am who I am, and I need a certain type of dominance when I fuck, and make no I mistake about it—I love to fuck. Not everybody can handle someone like me in the bedroom, so that makes Ava special in a sense. The sex we have makes what other people do look like fucking amatuer hour.

  Most men would crumble beneath the pressure of trying to satisfy Ava’s appetite for sex. It’s part of the reason things didn't work out between her and Lucas. She wanted more in the bedroom, and he wasn't capable of providing it. She was too much for him, but it wasn't just in the bedroom. Ava was too much for Lucas all around, so he had to run away just to escape the breathtaking fog that emanates off her. It takes a certain lung capacity to breathe Ava in, and I thought I’d be able to do it. Maybe I was wrong.

  Maybe it’s me who’s ruining things. Ava and I started fucking while she was still my patient, so it’s arguable that I was the one who crossed the line. I knew my attraction to her was purely sexual, and I thought that would be enough. It turns out, however, it might not be enough for me. I know she has a spell over me because I’m addicted to fucking her, but the more time we spend together, the more I realize that sex is literally the only thing that connects us.

  I thought that something else would've grown between us by now. I thought I'd have feelings outside the Black House. I thought I’d want more from her than to watch her come. I thought she’d show me she could bring more to it than that, and I thought I'd want to give more than just my cock and pleasurable pain. With all of this in mind, maybe it’s me who’s messing up the flow by having expectations that are too high.

  All of it gives me a headache, which is why Excedrin isn't doing a damn thing today. My temples throb like there's a drum being pounded on both sides of my head, and as I sit at my desk and open up Tessa Milton’s file, it only gets worse. Maybe it’s the brightness from the computer screen or the thoughts of confusion swirling around in my head. Nonetheless, I need to get it together, because when it comes to my patients, I have to always be on top of my game. They don't get to know that I struggle with the same things they do. To them, I know my shit, full stop.

  I take a minute to get my thoughts in order before Tessa shows up. She’s a beautiful woman who’s been through a lot with her ex-boyfriend, who I always thought was a real piece of shit. Now that things between them have ended, Tessa is trying to find her way out of the maze of societal opinions and judgments. It can be a tough task, especially when you've gone your whole life constantly doing what other people expect you to do.

  My goal for Tessa is to help her break out of that, but it’s hard to convince someone that the opinions of other people don't matter. In today’s society, we’re constantly flooded with the opinions of other people. Social media makes this ten times worse than it should be, and even if the comments and opinions are from random people that we don't even know, they still affect us. Breaking that cycle is a must for Tessa, just as it is for most of the people in the world.

  After a few minutes of jotting down notes for my session with Tessa, I feel ready to get my day started. I stand up from my seat and stretch out, and even take a second to walk over to the couch my patients will sit on and straighten it out for them. I fluff the pillow and make sure the box of tissues on the table is filled up. Once everything is in o
rder, I go back to my desk and wait for Keisha to tell me Tessa has arrived.

  Instead of Keisha over the intercom, the next sound I hear is Keisha’s voice through my door. She sounds agitated as she raises her voice, and then my heart drops to my feet as I hear another voice that I recognize. Ava’s.

  “You can't go back there, Ava,” Keisha says. I can tell she’s trying to remain calm, but she’s pissed. “Ava, Dr. Colson has an appointment in ten minutes. This is not the time.”

  “He’s my boyfriend, Keisha,” Ava fires back. “I’m not a patient anymore, and I’m allowed to go see my boyfriend at his job. Stop being jealous and tell him I’m here. Or, I’ll just go in myself. It’s not like he keeps the door locked.”

  “Ava, you can't do this,” Keisha retorts, but Ava doesn't care, and I’m stunned when the door to my office flies open. Standing there in dark purple leggings that hug her thighs and put her glorious ass on display, is Ava. She’s sporting a black shirt underneath a purple and black jacket, with her hair flowing down behind her back. She looks furious at first, but when she sees me, her fire dies out, and she smiles.

  “Hey, baby,” she says, as if she didn't just burst into my office ten minutes before I have a patient.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ~ Malcolm ~

  “Umm, Ava, what the fuck?” I whisper, almost to myself but loud enough for both women to hear me.

  “Hi, babe,” Ava replies with a smile, as she casually walks across the room and leans in to kiss me on the cheek. It’s like everything moves in slow motion as Ava lifts herself to her tippy-toes and pecks my face. I look over at Keisha, and she looks like she’s ready to fight both of us. She glares at Ava for barging in, and at me for letting her.

  “Ava, what are you doing here?” I ask, pulling my face back so I can look into her eyes. “I have a patient who will be here in just a few minutes. You can't come barging in like this.”

  “Oh, I know, babe,” Ava answers, calling me “babe” for the second time, even though this is the first day she’s ever used that term of endearment for me. “I didn’t mean to be disruptive. I just wanted to come see you, and tell you to have a great day at work. That’s all. Is that too much to ask?”

  Keisha, standing behind Ava, rolls her eyes so hard I think they might get stuck.

  “No, that’s not too much to ask, Ava, but I’m at work already,” I try to explain. “And Keisha told you I have a patient coming, so this isn’t good. You can't do shit like this.”

  “Well, I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you, that’s all. Look, can we just talk alone?” Ava looks over her shoulder at Keisha, and the two of them exchange bitter glances. Keisha has never liked Ava, but now that we’re together and Keisha knows how things began between us, she really doesn’t like her.

  I let out a tired, annoyed sigh, before looking up at Keisha. “Can you give us a second, please? Please let me know when Tessa arrives. I’m sorry, Keisha.”

  My secretary looks irate, but does as I request without saying a word. The second Keisha is out of the room, Ava turns to me and leans in for another kiss, this one on my mouth. Her tongue darts out and forces its way between my lips before I can even protest. While our tongues clash, Ava reaches down and grabs ahold of my cock, instantly making me hard.

  “Jesus, Ava,” I bark, as I yank her hand away and take a step back. “What the hell is the matter with you? You can't do this shit right now. I’m at my job, and I have a client who’s almost certainly minutes away from being here. Why are you acting like this?”

  “Because I fucking love you, Malcolm,” Ava blurts, the words coming out in a hurry. “There, I said it, and this time I don’t just mean how much I love your cock. I’m in love with you. I realized it when I woke up this morning. I thought about everything we’ve been through, and how I was ready to stab that girl at the movie theater just for looking at you.”

  “Which one?”

  “Both of them! I was ready to be hauled off to jail for you, and I realized that’s not normal. Only someone who’s in love would be willing to do that. When I realized that’s what it was all about, I had to come see you. I’m sorry that once I got here I got overwhelmed and couldn’t keep my hands off you, but love will do that. I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I had to come see you, and I had to say it. I love you, Malcolm.”

  The world starts to spin like a merry-go-round. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? I don’t love Ava, and probably never will. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, and I know how sensitive she is, so all of this feels like a lot of stress. The words I choose next have to be perfect because I don’t want to set her off, but as I think about it with a dumb look covering my face like a mask, the words escape me. I stand there silently for too long, so I just go with what’s in my head.

  “Umm, I don’t know what to say, Ava,” I say in a hushed tone, hoping she’ll mirror me and not blow up.

  “I don’t need you to say it back, Malcolm,” Ava replies, with a shrug and soft smile. “The only thing I want to hear is that you want to be with me. It’s that simple. Do you want to be with me?”

  My head feels like it’s spinning, because I’m torn into two separate pieces right now. I love fucking Ava. I love seeing the way the braids of my flogger kiss across her soft skin. I love the moan she releases into the air when I control her—when I pull her hair and make her look at me while pounding into her. I love the way her pussy feels when I cover it with my mouth. There’s so much I love doing to her, but I do not love Ava, and at this point, I don't know where I am when it comes to being with her. Things are escalating, and the higher it all goes, the crazier she seems, and the less I want to do with her. There's something growing in me that wants more than just sex with the woman I’m dating. Call it maturity, I guess.

  “Ava,” I manage to say with a quick head shake.

  “How about now?” Ava says, just before she reaches up and ties her hair into a ponytail.

  “What?” I ask, truly confused.

  “How about now?” Ava lets go of her hair, and slowly lowers her hands down to her pants. With eyes as wide as silver dollars, I watch as Ava slides her pants down to her ankles, before stepping out of them and tossing the purple leggings to the floor next to her.

  “Ava, don’t do that,” I plead, as I keep stealing glances up at the door, even though Keisha has literally never walked into my office unannounced. The only person who has ever done that is Ava.

  Without another word, Ava pulls off her jacket and lifts her shirt over her head, revealing her gorgeous breasts that were unsupported by a bra. She tosses the jacket and shirt on top of her leggings, and drops herself down to her knees. Ava’s brown eyes lift up to meet mine, grabbing all of my attention as she assumes the position I love.

  “How about now… sir?”

  Fuck.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ~ Malcolm ~

  Everything in me wants her. Every fiber of my being, every follicle on my body, every cell that makes me human wants to walk around her naked body searching out places to touch. I want to spank her. I want to tie her to my desk somehow and fuck her until she screams loud enough to be heard on the sidewalk outside. I want it so much that I feel myself shaking as I try to hold back. I have barriers raised, but my desire is like a dinosaur throwing its weight at them, knocking them back, tilting them, keeping those barriers teetering on the edge of falling over. I have to stabilize them before it’s too late.

  “Fuck,” I mumble, before clearing my throat and starting again. “Ava, this isn't how this works. You know that. You don't set the rules in this relationship. I do. Now, get up.”

  Ava keeps her forehead aimed at the floor and her chin tucked into her chest.

  “No, sir,” she says, nearly knocking me back.

  “Excuse me?” I ask, frowning.

  “No, sir,” Ava repeats without the slightest hint of fear in her voice. “The rules have changed now, sir. I’m madly
in love with you, and since you can't say it back to me right now, I want you to show it to me. I need to feel it deep within me that this is real, otherwise, I don't know what I might do. No one wants to say ‘I love you’ and not have it reciprocated. And I’m not saying you have to say it if you don't mean it, but I’m begging you to show me that you want me. Take me. Control me. Own me, Malcolm, and do it with your secretary sitting right outside. Show me you want me. Please.”

  In my head, I let out a scream. Ava is like an evil genius when it comes to manipulating me, and I know that’s what she’s doing. I’m fully aware that she uses sex against me to keep me close to her, and I know we wouldn't even be together if I didn't have an addiction that she feeds. The problem isn't that I don't know she’s doing it. The problem is that I do know, but still can't stop her. Even when I know I shouldn't give in, my addiction wins every time, and I feel it ready to topple over my barriers right now. I only have an ounce of strength left, and I try to use it as a last ditch effort.

  “Ava, you have to get up. My client will be here any second,” I say, but it sounds shaky in my throat. It’s weak and soft, because the confident, dominant side of me doesn't want her to stop. The dom inside of me loves this and wants to punish Ava for disobeying me. The real me wants to fuck.

  “Are you my dominant?” Ava asks, and I gasp under my breath.

  “What?”

  “Are you my dominant, Malcolm? Do you want me as your submissive? Because the Malcolm I know and love would know what to do with this pussy right here and now. The Malcolm I know would punish me for breaking his rules by fucking me until I had to crawl out of here, right past your secretary and patient on my hands and knees. The Malcolm I know could handle me.”

  I don't answer. The barriers inside of me topple over and I feel my sensible side slip beneath the waves, just as I’m overcome with an ocean of kinky desire. I know what I shouldn't do, but I have to do it.