Kingpin (An Italian Mafia Romance) Read online

  Both of us look over at Marcus just as the music starts up again—this song’s more upbeat and happy, the opposite of my mood—and I clear my throat to try to make it seem less awkward. It doesn’t work.

  “Umm, hey, Marcus. I was looking for you. Where’d you go?” I ask, barely able to look him in the eye.

  “I was talking to Julia and Janelle, but when that last song came on I was hoping we could dance together, but I couldn’t find you,” he says. He makes sure to only look at me, and Dominic makes sure to only look at him.

  “Umm, yeah, sorry about that,” I begin. “I needed to talk to Dominic, but umm, we can dance together now if you want.”

  Marcus smiles at first, but it fades as he tries to figure out how to get between Dominic and me, because Dominic hasn’t budged. It’s awkward again.

  “Dominic,” I say, stealing his attention.

  “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he replies, finally ending his death stare at Marcus. “Something I need to tell you, and it’s important. I’m gonna go for now, but maybe after this thing is over we can meet up.”

  I clear my throat again. This has to be making Marcus feel uncomfortable.

  “Umm, actually, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s really important, too. So, that’s a good idea. We’ll talk later.”

  “Okay.” Dominic steals another glance at Marcus before walking away.

  The next couple of hours is spent switching between dancing with Marcus and dancing with my girlfriends, but always thinking about Dominic. Seeing him for the first time tonight in almost two weeks seems to have put a spell on me, and it takes a lot of effort just to not talk about him throughout the night.

  When it’s all over, Marcus insists on going to an after-party, but I insist on going home. I can see it pisses him off, but I really couldn’t care less. He drops me off in the driveway of my house and I never look back as he drives away. I quietly make my way inside, where my parents are already asleep, and I call Dominic.

  To my surprise, Dominic shows up to my house driving a black Mercedes with dark tinted windows. I couldn’t even see it was him inside as he pulled into the driveway. He smiles at me through the windshield as I walk to the passenger side and climb in. He’s not wearing a suit anymore, just a black t-shirt and black sweatpants, but he’s still gorgeous, sweats and all.

  “When’d you get your license?” I ask, my brow furrowed.

  Dominic smiles.

  “What license?”

  He places the car in drive and we’re off, rolling away from my housing area and headed for the highway. It’s a quiet trip. Dominic doesn’t say much, and I’m all in my head with thoughts of the conversation I had with my parents a while back, and how I’m going to tell Dominic about it. I’m wondering about what happened to him, too. How did he end up with a concussion, and what the hell is really going on in his life that puts him in situations where someone can give him a concussion? There’s a lot of questions, and as we stop in an abandoned parking lot behind an apartment complex in Belleville, I’m ready to start getting answers. But it’s Dominic who starts talking first.

  “So, there’s something I been meaning to tell you,” he begins, his Italian accent seemingly getting stronger by the minute. “I’ve thought a lot about it, and all the shit that went down at River City made me really think about it. About you. About us. I’ve learned that life can be extremely short. One minute you’re lounging in an expensive casino office, and the next minute you’re on your back with a knife to your throat.”

  I feel my heart drop into the floor of the car.

  “This isn’t easy, Alannah, so just bear with me here, alright,” he keeps going. “Umm, I know we’re getting older all the time. I mean, we’re fifteen now, and we’ve known each other for four years already. But the truth is, since the day I met you when we were in the fifth grade . . . what I’m trying to say is . . . what I need to say is . . . I think I’m in love with you, Alannah. I think I been in love with you since the day I pulled that asshole off of you your first day of school. I think I been in love with you since the first moment I ever saw you. You’re the best thing in my life, and not having you be a part of me is the only thing in this world I’m afraid of.”

  I let out a sigh as my body heats up, and I get a million goosebumps that all have legs to crawl across my sensitive skin. I look down at the air conditioner to see if it’s been switched to heat, but it hasn’t. I clear my throat, trying to buy time to think of a response, but Dominic keeps going.

  “I know that’s probably a lot to take, and I don’t mean to overwhelm you. I know I’m different from the other guys in school. My father and I aren’t a normal father and son, and I know my life’s the complete opposite of yours. I’ve seen the guys you’ve been dating, wishing with all my heart it was me, and when it would end, a part of me would be happy, because they were never good enough for you anyway. That guy you went to homecoming with tonight was an asshole, and he didn’t deserve to be in the same room as you, let alone be your date for the night.

  “All things considered, including our differences, nobody will love you as much as I do, Alannah. I’d give everything to protect you, and I’d be as loyal to you as I am my own family. I mean that. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. So I don’t wanna hide how I feel anymore. Life’s too short for that. I want you to know how I feel about you, and to be honest, I think you feel the same about me. If I’m wrong, just tell me, but I don’t think I am. Am I wrong? Is it just me who feels this way?”

  I feel tears climbing up, stinging my eyes as they reach the summit. I’m overcome with emotions, and I know I was supposed to tell him something important just now, but I can’t remember what it was. All I can think of is how good it feels to hear him say he loves me.

  He loves me.

  “You’re not wrong,” I reply as the first tear achieves its goal of reaching my cheek. “I didn’t know how I felt for a long time, but I know with absolute certainty now. I love you too, Dominic. I do. I love you.”

  My brain tries to remind itself of what I’m supposed to tell Dominic, but my body is no longer willing to wait until my brain figures it out. It goes rogue, and my hand reaches up and pulls Dominic’s mouth to mine like it has a mind of its own.

  It’s the first time we’ve ever kissed, and now that it’s happening, I wonder how I ever went so long without doing it every single day. It’s like I’ve discovered the air my body’s been craving, and now that I’m breathing, I can never hold my breath again. Our tongues collide and dance together, and I swear I can hear the Mariah Carey song playing again, because the words are so true. We Belong Together.

  We kiss like we’re trying to make up for all the years that we didn’t, and I feel things I’ve never felt before. This is a new feeling of heat, a new level of passion, a new degree of desire and yearning, and it’s uncontrollable.

  Our hands roam freely over each other’s bodies, and although I’ve done my share of kissing in my fifteen years, everything in this moment is a first. The things I want right now, I’ve never wanted before.

  Dominic leans in and kisses me on the neck, and I lift my head to make it easier for him. My father would be so pissed if he knew what I was doing, but the concoction of emotions flooding my body drown out any thoughts of this being wrong. I only think of Dominic.

  I use both of my hands to pull Dominic over to me, and even as he struggles to get over the shifter and my seat clumsily falls back into a lying position when I pull the handle, I don’t care, because I want him on top of me. I want to do things with him I wouldn’t dare think of doing with anyone else. I don’t think to stop when he starts to pull my dress up to my waist, or when his fingers start to touch me over the top of my panties. No, I don’t think to stop, I only surge forward, my skin on fire with sensitivity I never knew.

  I push his pants down, he slides my panties off, but I never want to stop.

  Who would I rather lose my virginity to? M
arcus Smart? Bobby Pistone? Of course not. There isn’t a person in the world I’d rather lose my virginity to than Dominic Collazo. So, when he slides himself inside me, I ignore the burning sensation and the pain of it all, because he makes it worth it. He takes his time with me, going just as slow as I need him to, and even though neither of us really knows what we’re doing, something about it feels right. It feels like love, like this is what we’re supposed to do.

  We Belong Together.

  It’s a beautiful pain, and although it barely becomes pleasurable physically, I love it because it’s with him, and it feels right in my mind. We’re each other’s first. We’re going through it together like we were always meant to, and I love that.

  I love him.

  We manage to fit ourselves together in the passenger seat of the Mercedes, our bodies intertwining with one of his arms under me, and the other across my chest. The windows were fogged, so we let them down so the breeze could sweep over us as we look out at the stars.

  I lay on Dominic’s shoulder thinking about why it took so long for us to admit our feelings to each other, and how excited I am now that we have. I think about what it’s going to be like for us now that we’re finally a couple. The thought of us walking through the halls in school with everybody staring at us doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it makes me smile. We’ll be like Bonnie and Clyde. That’s probably what they’ll call us behind our backs, but nobody would dare say it to our faces. We’ll be a power couple forever, still going strong all the way up to graduation.

  That’s when it hits me.

  Now that the passion-induced haze has been lifted, my brain finally starts to do its job again, and I remember what I was supposed to tell Dominic. The words hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest, especially after what we just did and how much it meant. It’s unbearable to think about it and the tears make a comeback. The first one slides down my right cheek, but the second goes down the left and lands on Dominic’s arm, drawing his attention.

  “Hey, what’s the matter?” he asks, probably confused by the sudden tears.

  “There’s something I forgot,” I begin. “I got distracted by everything that was going on, and I forgot the whole reason I needed to talk to you tonight. There’s something I need to tell you, Dominic.”

  He sits up and angles his body to look me in the eye, which just makes it that much harder.

  “Dominic, I’m moving,” I blurt out, as I lose all control and the tears roll out in bunches. I can’t believe I’m saying it, and I still can’t accept that it’s actually going to happen.

  Dominic still looks confused.

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “I’m moving. My dad got orders to Alaska and we have to move.”

  “Are you serious right now?”

  “Do I look like I’m kidding? I wouldn’t joke about this, especially after what just happened. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you haven’t been at school, and you weren’t calling me back because you were in the hospital.”

  Dominic looks like his world just collapsed on top of him and he can no longer breathe.

  “What the fuck, Alannah?” he snaps. “When is this supposed to happen?”

  I somehow manage to cry harder when I start to say the answer.

  “The military needed to fill a vacant position in Anchorage, so they gave him short notice orders, and we found out a few weeks ago. We’re only a couple of weeks away now. That’s all. Just a couple of weeks.”

  “Goddammit!” Dominic barks as he jumps up and opens the door. He nearly falls out of the car and starts pacing around outside, pulling the drawstring on his sweats to keep his pants up. “Who’s this saying you have to go? Who said you have to go, because I’m not gonna let this happen, Alannah. You have to stay here. You tell me who it was, and I’ll tell my dad. You won’t go anywhere.”

  “It doesn’t work like that, Dominic,” I bellow as I exit the car myself. “This is the military we’re talking about. The United States Air Force. They say we have to go, we have to go. Nobody’s stopping it.”

  “Then I’ll talk to your dad. I’ll tell him you gotta stay here. Let’s go, I’ll go talk to your dad right fucking now.”

  Dominic starts to walk to the driver’s side like he’s really going to do it, and I have to run over to him to stop him.

  “Dominic, please stop,” I beg. “There’s nothing we can do about this. I always knew this could happen, and I guess I just hoped it wouldn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you, and nothing hurts me more than knowing I have to leave Belleville, but I don’t want to do anything to make things worse. I don’t want to feel any worse than I do right now, so please don’t confront my dad. It’s his job, and I’m his daughter. There’s no way he can stay here, and there’s no way he’d let me stay. You know that.”

  Dominic stops moving and just looks at me. It takes a second, but for the first time since I met him, Dominic’s eyes fill with tears. He tries to push them away, and when he can’t, he turns his face so I can’t see him, but I know it’s happening. All I can do is wrap my arms around him and cry with him.

  “I’m so sorry, Dominic,” I whisper as we lean against the car and sob together.

  The truth eventually sets in. After all this time, we’re finally together, but we know it won’t last, and it’s the hardest thing either of us has ever had to accept.

  Dominic

  “Why ain’t you been returning my calls?”

  I close the door to the Cadillac as I sit, but I don’t buckle my seat belt. The way I’ve been feeling the past few days, I wouldn’t care if we crashed into a brick wall and I flew through the windshield.

  “You hear me talking to you?” my father snaps. He sounds pissed, and that’s all I have to go on because I haven’t looked at him yet. “I said, why ain’t you been returning my calls, Dominic? You missed out on two scores last week. That’s the kind of thing you need to be around for. What’s the matter with you?”

  “I was with Alannah,” I reply, finally glancing at him for a second before staring out the window again. Dad steps on the gas and aims for the highway, back to River City.

  “You were with Alannah? That’s all you have to say for yourself right now?”

  “She’s moving soon, Dad. To Alaska, okay? It fucking sucks, and I’ve been trying to spend as much time with her as I can before she leaves. Cut me some slack here.”

  “Cut you some slack?” he snaps, repeating me again. “So, you’re all depressed over some girl? You think you’ve got it bad right now, do ya’? Your personal life becoming too much for you to handle? Well, let me fill you in on what’s been going on this past week with The Family while you were sulking in your fucking bedroom. The FBI has been all over us. They claim they have store clerks and truck drivers coming forward, saying we’re extorting them. How about that? We got guys out there ready to rat. That make you feel better?”

  “What? Of course not,” I reply with a furrowed brow.

  “Nah? Well, how about this? The cops found Alfonse Cestone’s body in the river two days ago.”

  “What?”

  “That’s right. That fucking guy who tried to slit your throat in the garage at River City, fucking guy floated back to the top, and some family saw him and called the cops. Feds are trying to pin that on us too, claiming they know it was a mob hit. Feel better yet?”

  “Why would that make me feel better?”

  “You think you’ve got it so bad, Dom, and you have no fucking idea. How about this? Frankie got arrested yesterday. He’s in jail as we speak. The Feds say they got him on credit card fraud and money laundering, and if they got him, then that means I’m next.”

  I don’t even have a response to that one. I can’t imagine what it’d be like if my dad got put away. I couldn’t manage. I had no clue any of this was going on because I haven’t been around. I’ve been trying to spend all my time with Alannah before she leaves, and The Family’s been taking a hit, and Frankie’s in jai
l. This is too much on one kid’s plate.

  “The point I’m trying to make, Dominic, is that if you’re gonna be a part of Our Thing, you’re gonna have to get your priorities straight. If there ever comes a time that you get to be a made guy, you’re gonna have to take an oath, and pledge to put this family above everything else. Above everybody else. The Giordano Family isn’t one of these huge families in New York. We’re small out here in St. Louis, so we need loyal guys who know and follow the rules put in place by Anthony Giordano way back in the day. We have to keep the tradition going, and if Leo ends up making you the way he made me, you’re gonna carry the burden of keeping this family alive. Nothing comes before La Cosa Nostra. Nothing. We’re too small of a family to be getting heat from the Feds that can put guys away like this. The Commission is gonna open the books one day, and when they do, I want you there, Dominic. But you gotta earn it, and you’re not gonna do that if you’re stressing out over some girl. You understand?”

  I pause so I can really think about my answer. Do I really understand? Do I understand that I’m going to have to put La Cosa Nostra before important people in my life? Do I accept that The Family has to come first? Am I willing to put The Family before Alannah? I’m not really sure, but I need to reassure my dad. Me being a part of This Thing of Ours is really important to him, which means it’s important to me. So, even though I’m figuring out how I feel about certain things, there’s no question about how I feel about my father. I’m loyal to him, no matter what.

  “Yeah, Dad, I understand. I’m sorry,” I reply. “I’ll do better.”

  Dad takes his eyes off the road to make eye contact with me, his jaw tight and his eyes narrow. “Good.”

  It’s been a fucking struggle. Everything going on with Alannah has taken the wind out of my sails. She’s all I think about. Well, the fact that she’s leaving is all I think about. After all we’ve been through, right from the moment we met on the playground at Barry Elementary, after all of the feelings, after all the friendship, after giving our virginity to one another, it’s going to come to an end. The truth is, I’m struggling. Between what I need to be doing with my father and what I want to do with Alannah, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to be just like my dad, but I want to be with Alannah, too. Regardless of what I want, though, Alannah’s leaving, so I guess the decision is being made for me. I just hate the fucking decision.